Saturday, January 17, 2009

Self-Pity, Party of One

Warning: The following words are just a mini-rant of frustration with my circumstances.

If I were so silly as to tempt the Lord, I would say that life is not going according to the Deven Plan, and I've had just about enough.

I would say that He's pushing it by asking me to trust Him with
(a) the hospital bills that are beginning to roll in,
(b) the fact that the insurance year rolled over while Caleb was in the hospital so we have to meet his deductibles twice,
(c) my cut hours at work resulting in a as-of-yet undisclosed, yet assumedly serious, reduction in pay, and
(d) the family car (MY CAR) that is currently dead.

But I won't do that. :O

Actually, as I was tackling Mt. Laundry this evening while throwing my woe-is-me lollapalooza, I did think "Lord Jesus, come quickly!" Nothing like a little adversity to kick in some longing for HOME.

The Comforter reminded me that "in this world you will have trouble." (Me: Is that really necessary??) "But take heart! I have overcome the world." I am so thankful that, if I work up the courage, I can hand these troubles over to someone who saw this day coming.

PS - Also, a backrub from Stephen was helpful too, but I don't want God to think that I put His help and Stephen's on the same level. :)

PPS - God has blessed us with being able to save up for emergencies, so there is no imminent financial crisis. I just hate to see that savings being used. (So wait a sec... I save up for it, but I don't want it to be touched. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. That makes a whole lotta sense.)

6 comments:

Keetha said...

Bless your heart.

Amanda said...

Hey, there is nothing wrong with NOT wanting to see your hard-earned savings be used up. That's a tough one to deal with, especially since it usually means things aren't going very smoothly! Also, I just would like to join you in ranting about the injustice of the insurance deductible situation...that is insane! I hope it helps a little to know that you have lots of friends praying for you guys (maybe not as much as Stephen's backrub, but ya know...we do what we can!).

2nd Cup of Coffee said...

Sorry, Deven. But at least writing it out vents some of the frustration.

Stephen and Michelle said...

Yes, I also have been frustrated with paying two deductibles - for both our kids. Because we found out in the late summer/early fall that we were pregnant and so had all kids of bloodwork, etc that we had to have and then paying for the actual birth the next spring/summer.

And I COMPLETELY relate to the savings issue...I save for emergencies but I hate spending a cent, even though I know that was what it was for!!! Aren't we silly?!? ;)
Michelle

Jodi said...

That is UNBELIEVABLE! uggggh. So sorry!

But I thank you for the reminder... I too have longed for HOME a time or two this year. We can stay and 'take heart' together... and kiss our boys, because having them with us is worth the 'ugggggghs' it took to keep them healthy and safe!!! ;)

Deven said...

Thanks, girls. I actually gained some perspective in writing, which is not my usual MO. I generally work things out by talking, but Caleb isn't the most loquacious little boy. :)